Tattoo Jack

"I can't wait until I can get a tattoo, I already know what it's gonna say... Lego Jack. Because I know you only got tattoos for things you'll always love and I'll always love Legos even though I'm really a science guy, I think a Bill Nye tattoo would be weird. And Benjamin Franklin wouldn't fit on my knuckles, I guess I could shorten it to Ben Frank, but people would be like 'what's up with the Ben Frank, are they your kids names or something?' I wouldn't want to explain that all the time. And Lego Jack doesn't need explanation. I mean if you can't figure that out, I probably wouldn't be spending my time with you anyways. For my second tattoo I think I'll get a portrait of Benjamin Franklin on my chest where my heart is, because I love him too. Without him we would have nothing. Some people think he wasn't that great and they're all 'Einstein was the greatest' but really they don't know what they're talking about. Einstein was just some weirdo with crazy hair. E=mc2. That's just silly, it doesn't make any sense anyways. I think it has to do with math or something. Math is okay I guess, but really science is my subject. So I guess what I'm really trying to say is will you take me to get a tattoo for my 10th birthday?"

"No Jack, you can wait until you're 19 like I did. Now get out of the bathroom and let me take my shower in peace!"

I rarely get an uninterrupted shower. Jack likes to sit in the tub that's next to the shower and talk my ear off. I've tried locking the door, but he knows how to unlock it. At least I'm being entertained with the hilarious rambling of a 7 year old. 7 going on 27.

Going Out On A Sunday Night… Not Such A Good Idea.

I don’t normally go out, I like to stay home with the kids, occasionally ill accompany my boyfriend to an event, but I love being with the kids. Sunday night was my best friend’s birthday; she just turned 24 so she’s young with energy and planned a night out for her birthday. Cory (my boyfriend) and I decided to go. We got a babysitter, kissed the kids and took off. We made it home at 11:22, spoke with the babysitter for a bit then I tiredly walked up the stairs to my room.

“Mom! I missed you!”

Great, Jack’s awake and it’s a school night. I gave him a hug and a kiss and said goodnight.

“But you didn’t read to me, you always read to me, and we’re almost at the end…” Jack pulls the Wednesdays out from under his covers. “I even unplugged my clock, so if dad comes up he won’t know what time it is and we won’t get in trouble.”

So I lay in his bed and started to read, I wasn’t even half a page deep when he started snoring. Finally I could go to bed. I feel like I’ve only been sleeping for 5 minutes, but I know it’s sometime in the morning when Jack creeps into my room. I could hear a mouse squeak and I’d wake up.

“Mom, are you gonna make me some breakfast or something?”

The clock says its 4:58 am, and I’m never going out on a Sunday night again.

the funniest morning of a bad week.

Jackson is 7 now, and I've found 7 to be a funny age. He has different levels when he is acknowledging what I say.

There's 'uh huh' which means he isn't listening to me at all, because his face is either buried in his iPad or he's watching the Simpsons.

Then we have the 'ok ok, I got it' which means he understands and he will do what I ask if I stop talking.

Then there's my favorite 'yeah, I'll do that now' which means he does it right away.

This morning I had forgotten Jack's socks upstairs, but the boys were eating breakfast, and Jacob was secured in his high chair. I decided to go get them myself. I said to Jack 'I'll be right back, if you leave the table put your juice on the counter. I don't want Jacob to get it.'

'Uh huh' he replies and I already know I shouldn't leave the room but I do anyways. It took me 45 seconds to come back downstairs.

Jack is now sitting on the couch, and Jacob is laying on the table slurping up orange juice as fast as he can. His entire outfit is soaking wet and he will be sticky in a matter of minutes. I usually don't dress him before breakfast because he's a messy kid, but I slipped up this time. That was the last clean outfit that actually fit him, and all his clothes were in the wash.

I took him to the bath to clean him up, then I let him play in the tub. The bathroom is right next to his dresser, so with the door open I could watch him play with his little duck.

Pajamas, that's all that's left. Embarrassing since he attends the daycare where I work. I like my kids looking nice when they're with my co-workers, but oh well.

I go to get him out of the tub, and he doesn't have his duck in his hand anymore. He has poop in his hand, on his cheek, it's smeared on the side of the tub and some is floating around him. So out of the bath and into the shower for him to get cleaned up again.

Everything went smoothly after that and the cleanup was actually pretty easy.

It's nothing I can get mad about either. I always knew Jacob was a magician. When he was 10 months old he could get himself naked as a baby while he was strapped into his car seat. Now at a year and a half he can do anything, with him when there's a will there's a way.

But now the house is empty, I have an hour before work, and it's time for my guilty mom pleasure, American Horror Story, yay!

Cupcake Jake.

Incase anyone is wondering if it's a good idea to leave cupcakes on the kitchen table while you wash the dishes when you have kids...

 

It isn't a good idea at all. It was a pretty funny way to start the day though.  

Back to School Night

In this blog, I'm going to write about fun and maybe not so fun times in parenting.


So the other night was back to school night. The kids each wrote a little something about their parents, and the parents were going around the room reading them out loud. I really don't understand what that has to do with what going on this school year, but I went a long with it. My son Jackson knows me pretty well, and he's always honest, so it doesn't surprise me that this is what he wrote about me that I had to real aloud to the class...

 

He's right, Iced coffees make me happy, and I can't stand poor driving, but really, that needed to be announced to the class? I probably sounded like a caffeine addict with road rage.